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Executive Times |
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2007 Book Reviews |
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You Suck:
A Love Story by Christopher Moore |
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Rating: |
** |
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(Mildly Recommended) |
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Click on
title or picture to buy from amazon.com |
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Adolescent Christopher
Moore’s latest vampire love story, You Suck,
contains abundunt humor, mostly of the adolescent variety. Moore’s wit
overcomes the pitfalls of the plot, and most readers will laugh at the
escapes of the cast of characters, each of whom is pursuing one appetite or
another with abandon. Here’s an excerpt, from the beginning of Chapter 7,
“The List,” pp. 62-65: While Jody showered,
Tommy made a list. Feed Laundry New Apartment Toothpaste Sweet Monkey Love Windex Dispose of Vampire Minion “What do we need an
onion for?” Jody asked. She was having a little trouble getting her vision to
focus. “Minion, minion,”
Tommy said. “Mint-flavored onion?
Why do we need that?” “A minion! Someone who
can move around during the day who can help us out. Like I was for you.” “Oh, my bitch.” Tommy dropped his
list. “Nuh-uh.” Jody picked it up and
walked over to the kitchen counter where the coffee machine stood. “I would
sell my soul for a big cup of joe.” “I was not your
bitch,” Tommy said. “Right, right, right.
Whatever. So how long do we have to do this list?” “I checked the
almanac. Sunrise is at six fifty-three, so we have about twelve hours. It’s
almost the solstice, so we get a lot of darkness.” “Solstice? Oh my God,
it’s almost Christmas.” “So?” “Hello? Shopping?” “Hello? We have an
excuse. We’re dead.” “My mother doesn’t
know that. I have to find something for her that she’ll disapprove of And
your family—” “Oh my God! Christmas.
I was supposed to go home to Indiana for Christmas. We need to redo the
list.” “You do it. I’m going
to dry my hair,” Jody said. The new list read: Christmas Presents Call Home Feed Minion (not our Bitch) Hot Monkey Love Windex Write Literature Dispose of Creepy Old
Vampire New Apartment Laundry Toothpaste “I think you should
take monkey love off of the list,” Jody said. “What if we lose the list and
someone finds it?” “Well I think ‘dispose
of Creepy Old Vampire’ would be a little more embarrassing, don’t you?” “You’re right, cut
monkey love and change ‘vampire’ to ‘Elijah.” Jody tapped the list with a
pen. “And take off Windex and put in ‘buy coffee.” “We can’t drink
coffee.” “We can smell it.
Tommy, I desperately need coffee. It’s like the blood hunger, only, you know,
more civilized.” “Speaking of blood
hunger—” “Yeah, you’d better
move that up the list.” “And add a bottle of
whiskey. You’re going to have to buy it.” “Sorry, writer boy,
but we’re doing this stupid list together.” “I’m not old enough to
buy liquor.” Jody stepped away from
him and shuddered. “That’s right. Isn’t it?” “Yep,” Tommy said,
nodding—trying to look wide-eyed and innocent. “Well,
okay then. I should have checked IDs before picking my bitch.” “Hey!” “Kidding.
What are you going to do with a bottle of whiskey anyway?” “Check something else off
the list,” Tommy said. “I have an idea. Get your purse.” “What did the Animals want,
anyway?” “Twenty grand.” “I hope you told them to
fuck themselves.” “They did that already.” “Did they suspect, you
know, about what you are now?” “Not yet. Lash said I
looked a little pale. I sent them to the store. If Clint knows, well—” “Oh, good move. Maybe we
should just take out an ad. ‘Young vampire couple seeks angry village people
to hunt them down and kill them.” “Ha. Village people. Funny.
Put self-tanning lotion on the list. I think the pale thing is giving me
away.” Reading You Suck
will provide escapist entertainment and a few laughs for readers looking for
something distracting. Steve Hopkins,
February 23, 2007 |
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·
2007 Hopkins and Company, LLC The recommendation rating for
this book appeared in the March 2007
issue of Executive Times URL for this review: http://www.hopkinsandcompany.com/Books/You
Suck.htm For Reprint Permission,
Contact: Hopkins & Company, LLC • 723 North Kenilworth Avenue • Oak Park,
IL 60302 E-mail: books@hopkinsandcompany.com |
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